Someone once asked me where I got such a passion for small groups and why I think they’re important to a healthy church life. I was stunned with my lack of an answer. I think I was just born with it. .. but what kind of answer is that?
We had led a group for years, but I never really understood what helped keep it going, or how to keep another group going after it started. Until we moved to another town, and then I had flash backs to my Junior high school days when my family moved to a new town over my spring break.. While that subject brings up a whole new blog topic, let me just say, I was part of the “in” crowd at the old school… an unknown at the new school… therefore, I had to start building new relationships and claim new territory.
These seemingly unrelated life events made a connection for me that will etch in my brain, and make it into my book once I become the well known author that you all know and long to read.. (CHOKE, hahaha)
Relationships are the answer… pure and simple! Not that relationships are simple, in fact I see them as difficult and hard to maintain. But that is part of the whole deal.
Without proper “maintenance”, the relationship deteriorates quickly.
I have a very good friend that I hadn’t seen for years. And when we crossed paths in an airport…I didn’t recognize him…. Yes, I was embarrassed, because I should’ve remembered him, we were good friends and we have great memories, but my brain had tossed these memories into an unused file, with a huge lock. Unfortunately, he’s not alone, I have had to be reminded of several folks that I was once fairly close to.. But that’s how the relationship thing works…. If you don’t feed it, it dies.
Our home group built a great relationship, and we still have a good relationship with many of its members, but not all the members have that same relationship…some attended at different times and never met the others, some have moved, some live different lives, and some have been able to maintain a better relationship.
The difficult part of starting a new home group, is building that relationship within the new group… the leaders must have a gentle persistence, and the group members need to accept the responsibility to build the relationships. All the while, understanding the need to reproduce the good parts and let the bad parts die.
Recently, I was re-reading Courageous Leadership- Bill Hybels when I found a story that portrays the essence of home groups: As the Pastor of the church was made aware of a young couples’ need for prayer, he offered to serve them in whatever capacity they felt necessary. The young couple thanked him, but explained that they were part of a small house church and the group had been taking care of their needs for several years. Just then the members of the group stepped up and were introduced to the pastor.
Of course the “training guy” in me wants to take specific notes and prepare a step-by-step manual that can teach house-church (small groups), but there is more to it than a simple formula.
The real answer lies within each person; only you know to what level you can participate in a house church and fulfill the role to which God has called you. Actually participate is not the right word… we are called to BE the church… which is completely more involved than participating. AND we are called to BE ministers of His Gospel. Meaning we are to do something with what we’ve learned or experienced…. And that comes from who we are… healthy or unhealthy.
All that to say, What have you done to intentionally establish/maintain a relationship? Is there a relationship that needs some attention?