Let me start by saying I have been known to say offensive things. Sometimes I know it, Some times I do not. Either way, I feel bad when I realize I may have actually hurt someone's feelings from a snide remark made with little thought. Perhaps I need someone to follow me around and make sure nothing comes out of my mouth. But then again, would that be a real solution to the problem? Silence does not encourage relationships very well.
In recent news, Paula Deen has had to battle the repercussions of comments she made several years ago. I saw a question floating around if she should be held accountable for her words over two decades ago, which struck a thought, is there a statute of limitations on our words? Personally, I have said things in my youth that make me cringe today. The writer of Proverbs puts a high price to our words, and if we are ensnared by our words, we should do our best to humble ourselves to the offended party and make reconciliation with them.
Though we can choose to let our offensive words hang out there in space, but if we do not take care to mend the relationship, the offense will fester and cause greater damage. Like a kidney stone grows and causes great discomfort. Friends and family who have had a kidney stone say it is excruciating. There are times you are out right uncomfortable; if you're standing, you want to sit. If you're sitting you want to lay down, when you lay down you want to walk around, when you walk around you feel you need to do something else. A sense of discontentment, dis-ease, absolute frustration.
Also like a kidney stone, if we hang on to our pride and do not reconcile, we are really the only one who is continuing to be hurt. By humbling ourselves, letting go of the issue, the relationship is on its way to being restored. But unlike a kidney stone that relieves pain when it leaves, we continue to feel the pain and need to constantly remind ourselves that we forgave them of offenses. Well perhaps I should say, I have to remind myself that I forgave them of their offenses. I heard somewhere that forgiveness is giving up the right to take them to court on the matter. Sometimes I find this extremely difficult; but when I remember how much I am forgiven, it makes it easier for me to forgive those who have offended me. It also helps me to realize, they have their own battles raging inside them, perhaps they don't need me "helping" them by pointing out their discomfort.
As always, I'd love to hear what you think. I'd love to hear our story. I'd love to meet you for a coffee or at your favorite eating establishment. How have you been delivered from an uncomfortable circumstance?
references:
Kidney Stone: http://s3-media4.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/qzcTZD5C6w6CHjfOL_WWBg/l.jpg
Paula Deen: http://www.hdwallpapers3d.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/PaulaDeen1.jpg
Total Forgiveness: http://www.visionlifebookstore.com/images/TOTAL-FORGIVENESS--UPDATED.jpg
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